Pain Exchange

Last Thursday I had one of those days. I had gone to the doctor to get an ultrasound and received news that was frustrating. For the last five years my health has been one doctor’s appointment after another. It feels like a game of whac-a-mole. Do you remember that arcade game? The mole comes up, you smack it down with a hammer, and then another one comes up, and then another. No matter how many you smack down another seems to pop back up. That has been my health. Currently there are three separate areas of my body we actively monitor for cancer. All unrelated. I have nodules growing in my thyroid. Once they get to a certain size, we will biopsy and decide what to do and if/when action is needed. That’s an easy one. Next up is my colon. I’ve lost count of how many precancerous polyps I’ve had removed. Each year I have an exam, I wake up from anesthesia, and hear the double-digit count. Last year I remember my doctor looking at me, almost in disbelief, and asking quizzically “We ran your genetic testing? And it came back negative??”. “Yep”. He took a deep breath, shook his head back and forth, then said “Ok. I’ll see you next year.” The colon issue carries a bit more weight as my uncle passed away from colon cancer at an early age. But we’re doing what we can do. We’re aware of it, treating it before it becomes a real problem, and for that I’m grateful. Finally, we’ve got my kidney. There’s a cyst and it’s growing. We’ve run a ton of tests, we believe it’s non-cancerous, but there’s a chance it could be. The growth is an issue, the cyst is in a terrible location, and we’ll likely have some decisions to make this year. Ultimately, we believe the kidney will need to be removed. Time, more testing, and prayer will tell.

So back to last Thursday. Before and during the ultrasound, my prayer was “God, please let the results be clear. Please let the next steps be clear. I’d like to move on and have one less medical issue to deal with.” A few hours later I received the results. The cyst had grown, enough to need a follow-up in 6 months rather than 2 to 3 years. My initial response? Irritation. Followed by sadness and frustration. I like to handle things. Face a situation head on, get through it, and move on. I sat there at the table, re-reading the results, and processing how I felt. I don’t want to be dealing with this anymore. My summer is getting filled with what looks like a bunch of doctor’s appointments and potentially some big decisions. I was sad. I was tired. I wanted it to be over with. As tears filled my eyes, I did the one thing I know to do, I lifted them. Seeking God to speak into a situation that had no answers, just questions. 

I asked God “God, how do you see this? What is going on?”. I heard him respond with gentleness “Do you trust me?”. I’ve learned God asks questions not because he doesn’t know the answer, but to position me. He was preparing my heart for what he was going to speak into it. My response, tears still in my eyes “Yes”. I then heard him speak again to my heart “Trust me. Trust my timing. Now is not the time. I’ve got this.” I sat there, the tears now sliding down my face, letting his response sink in. My mind flashed to all the times God has been faithful in my life. How he’s brought my family and me through every dark situation we’ve ever faced. That while I never understand the pain or circumstance at the time, He has never failed. He has never abandoned me. He has never withheld his love from me. God was asking me to trust who He is. That while I don’t know what’s ahead, he does. His timing is perfect. And that if I allowed him to, he would use even this for his purposes. 

I don’t have an answer to why my health is under constant attack. I don’t know why now is not the time for my kidney situation to be resolved. But here’s what I’ve come to know. I don’t have to know why. I just need to know who. Who to go to. Who will take my pain, my fear, my frustration, my fatigue. God can, and he will, and he does. The next part of my prayer, “God, I’m giving this situation to you. I trust you. Will you take all that I’m feeling, all my fears and frustrations, and give me your peace?”. By the end of that day I felt God’s peace come over me. My situation hadn’t changed. I was still facing all the medical problems I was at the beginning of the day. But I felt the love of a Father whose love for me is greater than I understand. Whose ways are not my own but are better. Who was asking me to trust him and that he would see me through. 

Trusting God is not a one-time event. It’s daily. Sometimes even hourly. The peace he offers us requires action on our end. It’s a surrender. Friends, I share so much with you because I want the peace and hope God gives me, I want that for you. I want whatever burden you’re carrying to be lifted to the only one capable of bringing you peace despite the circumstance. There are multiple ways to do this exchange with God, all available in prayer. 

1.     The first is what I described above. A very simple prayer, “God, I give you ___. Will you take it and give me your peace? In Jesus’ name, Amen”. 

2.     Sometimes it helps to imagine actually giving what you’re carrying over to Jesus. To do this, close your eyes. Imagine what you’re carrying in a box or a bag that you’re holding. Then you can imagine placing that box or bag at the foot of the cross, giving it to Jesus. I encourage you then to open your hands, palms up, and imagine God’s peace placed in your hands and filling your body.

3.     A third option is to journal your prayer. Writing down, “God I give you ___. I surrender this situation to you and in return, I ask for your peace. In Jesus’ name, Amen.” There’s something about tangibly writing it down that can help as you process and pray.

While the prayers above may seem too simple and straightforward to actually take the pain you’re feeling and bring you peace, I encourage you to try. It’s not the size of the prayer, it’s the size of our Heavenly Father that matters. He is greater than we can imagine, greater than any problem we face, greater than the burdens we carry. His love for you is overwhelming. He is there, lovingly waiting to take your pain and lavish his love on you. I encourage you not to wait and reach out to him today. If I can be praying for you, I’d be honored to do so. Simply email blog@calvarylg.com.

Praying blessings of peace, hope, and a beautiful exchange with our Father. 

Seeking Peace

This season of covid has been hard. Hard for us all and in various ways. The range of emotions and experiences are so vast and varied. I have people in my life who are terrified, others who have lost jobs and struggling financially, others who are sick with the virus, and others who are holding up ok. In this season, what I’ve found I’m most grateful for, what I cannot imagine living without, is faith in God. I cling to my faith daily, not only because I’m a parent with five kids distance learning, but also because this world is broken and difficult. I cling to my faith because I would be lost without it. I honestly think without it, I would be an unhinged, unkind, emotional wrecking ball. 

In a conversation with friends yesterday, we were discussing broken dreams. Four adults and between us we’d experienced broken plans, broken marriages, depression and suicide, physical and emotional abuse, being laid off at work, miscarriage, struggles with our kids. We were unanimous in our experience that in this world, it’s just a matter of time before you experience brokenness of some kind. It’s in those moments where what matters, what really matters, seems to come into focus. It was in those moments of my life, when loss and pain seemed to be at their peak, where peace was not only deeply desired, it seemed both unattainable and priceless. 

Peace is defined as “freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions.” I’ve got both wonderful news about peace and potentially less wonderful news. The wonderful news? Peace is available to you. Daily. The less wonderful news? It’s not automatic. And what may be surprising is what I’m going to say next. Faith does not equal peace. I wish it were the case. It would’ve been lovely if the moment where I finally realized I was not in charge, surrendered my hands in the air and told God he was in charge, that all that came after was a beautiful, serene, peaceful life. But the reality is, that’s just not the world we live in. And the level of peace in my life is directly correlated to one thing - how often I’m seeking and giving my circumstances to God.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”. I love these two verses. Because in practice, these two verses, have taken the roughest of storms and turned them into calm waters. God really will bring peace that transcends understanding and circumstance. When the circumstances around us are a giant mess, perhaps a pandemic with worsening conditions at the holidays, there is peace that is both available and attainable.

So how do you get this peace? It requires seeking God. It requires trusting God. And it requires giving the circumstances to God. If you are willing to seek God in prayer and give the situation to him, even without the situation being resolved, there is a peace he will give you. The peace that surpasses circumstance. A simple prayer you can pray:

“God, this season is hard. I am hurting/worried/sad. Will you take this from me and bring me your peace? In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Friends, the truth of the matter is, it’s likely not a one-time exchange. I find myself having to give my circumstances to God daily and often multiple times a day. It depends on how challenging the situation is. It’s become a new reflex where whatever I’m facing, my first line of defense is to quickly pray, “God, I’m giving you ___. Will you give me your peace in exchange?”. It doesn’t take long from when I say this prayer to when I will feel the weight of what I’m carrying lift. 

I encourage you, whether you’ve prayed throughout your life or have never prayed before, to pray the above prayer today. There is no risk, nothing to lose, and only peace to gain. If you feel overwhelmed by circumstances, please know you are not alone and we would love to pray alongside you. Simply email blog@calvarylg.com and we would be honored to lift you in prayer.

Praying blessings of joy, health, and peace.

Lies of the Enemy

In the last post we discussed the power of labels and how in our broken world, people will label us and call us names that can not only hurt, but also stay with us. We often believe what we are told, particularly if it’s said repeatedly or comes from someone close to us. It’s a gift when it’s encouraging. If we’re told we’re smart, kind, loved we will come to believe that. The opposite is also true. Unfortunately, it takes less instances of being told something negative to believe it than it does something positive. In psychology they call it a “negative bias”. This bias is “the tendency not only to register negative stimuli more readily but also to dwell on these events…this negativity bias means we feel the sting of a rebuke more powerfully than we feel the joy of praise.”[1]

For anyone who’s lived even a decade, this truth is likely known and experienced. We’ve likely been told by a well-meaning person in our lives that “it’s part of life” in an attempt to get us to move past a negative label that may be hurting us. What’s not commonly discussed is that there is a very real spiritual component to the labels we’re given by others, as well as the negative thoughts that may be in our minds. There is a source behind it. It is the enemy and his goal is to steal, kill, and destroy. (John 10:10). But what does that mean? 

The enemy wants to keep you worried, stressed, feeling horrible about yourself. He wants to place you in captivity, in a prison cell of his making, by believing negative labels others have given you and negative thoughts that may be in your mind. But why? What does he gain? When we believe the lies, we are weighed down. The light in us is diminished. We walk around in pain. We are in an emotional prison cell, limited in what we can do, the life we can live. But when we believe the truth of God’s word, who God says we are, there is freedom. The light in us, rather than a faint glimmer, becomes a brilliant torch. 

In the Bible, God shows us he created us in our mother’s womb. (Psalm 139: 13) With love, precision, and purpose, he made you. Who you are, your characteristics, your demeanor, the way you think, the qualities of who you are and how he made you, the enemy has been trying to snuff them out, to put a negative spin on them. An example from my life I mentioned in the last post was that I was called stubborn throughout my lifetime. It was always used as a negative to tear me down and make me feel bad about myself. In God’s hands, that stubbornness is turned into faithfulness. It is unceasing prayer. That despite my circumstances or what I see with physical eyes, that I trust God and press on. 

Friends, you are a gift. Your life is so precious. Who you are, God made you exactly that way because he has a very special plan for your life. It is my prayer that today is the last day you will believe the lies of the enemy. If you didn’t get a chance to do the exercise from Tuesday, I encourage you to take five minutes and do it today. If there are any negative thoughts or beliefs you have about yourself, this exercise can help bring freedom. A follow-up exercise for today, is one that will focus on the positive. Will you take a moment, right now, and grab a piece of paper? Write down “I am….” and fill it with what comes to mind. How your best friend would describe you, how your loved ones describe you, how God thinks of you (loved, worthy, known, and so many more!). 

God loves you. He loves you beyond measure and beyond our comprehension. When we accept his love, when we see ourselves as He sees us, there is such joy and peace. I encourage you to keep the paper that has the positive descriptions. I also encourage you, if a negative thought about yourself comes to mind, to stop that thought in its tracks. Declare that thought a lie. It’s as simple as “I am not ___. I am loved.”

Finally, if you feel up to it, I encourage you to pray:

“God, I want to experience your love. I want to be free from any lies of the enemy and see myself as you see me. Will you help me to know you and feel your love? In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Praying blessings of peace, hope, and knowing how worthy and deeply loved you are.

[1] https://www.verywellmind.com/negative-bias-4589618

Labels

One of the painful truths about this broken world is that it isn’t long in to life before we’re called something negative. Someone else will call us a name or a label about who they believe we are. I remember being young, around elementary school, and being called selfish repeatedly by a family member. Stubborn was also a term used to describe me. While I’m certain I also received encouraging labels, it’s the negative ones that seem to stick. I think it’s also because when they’re said, the person saying it is frustrated, angry, hurt. The look on the person’s face when they call you the name can be as memorable as what they said. Too often, those unkind descriptions, the labels we’re given, they stay with us. We can come to believe that they’re true and that that’s who we are. The label is given power and it can hurt us.

The worst statement that’s ever been said to me was from an acquaintance in college. I didn’t know her well but one evening, out of the blue, she looked at me and said, “You look like someone who is going to be beaten by her husband.” I remember staring at her speechless. It truly was out of the blue and I didn’t know how to respond. I had never been in abusive relationship. And yet here was this woman declaring this over me. Here’s what’s very interesting. A couple years later I was engaged to a man and he did in fact hurt me. I remember being slapped across the face. Another time he pinned me to a wall by the neck. The last incident resulted in him throwing me down on the street. I can’t explain why I didn’t leave after the first time it happened. I wasn’t scared of him. I just naively thought it wouldn’t happen again. Why am I sharing this? I believe, wholeheartedly, that the things people speak over us matter. 

As a mama of many, more than anything, I want my children to have a relationship with God. There are many reasons, but one of the main reasons? I want their identity to be who God says they are. I want the same for you. The labels God gives us?  

• …loved (John 3:16)

• …chosen (John 15:16)

• …known (Psalm 139:13)

• …worthy (Zephaniah 3:17)

• …forgiven (1 John 1:9)

We live in a broken world with broken people. Unfortunately, we will be called hurtful names by others, people may speak terrible things over us, and we can come to believe that they’re true. Labels have power. And there’s also power in declaring that those things are not true. That what someone says about us is not who we are. When we do that and when we declare and believe who God says we are, there is healing. There is freedom. There is peace.

There’s an important exercise I’d love for you to try. Will you take a moment, right now, and reflect to see if there are any negative things you are believing about yourself? Grab a piece of paper and write at the top “I am…..” and then fill in what comes to mind. If anything negative comes to mind, I encourage you to break agreement with those negative statements/words. For each one you can simply say, “I break agreement that I am ____.” For each statement you break agreement with, I’d like you to cross out the word on the paper. Finally, if you feel up to it, I encourage you to pray:

“God, I want to know you. I believe what the Bible, your Word, says about me. I believe I am loved, chosen, known, worthy, forgiven. Will you help me to see myself as you see me? In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Friends, you are loved more than you can imagine. God wants you to know how deeply loved you are. I encourage you to start the journey to receive his love and accept how he sees you as truth. May that be your identity. That you are chosen. You are known. You are loved. You are worthy. You are forgiven.

Praying blessings of hope, joy, peace and knowing how deeply loved you are.

Wounds We Carry

Friends, this is where I take a deep breath. As I mentioned in Tuesday’s post, this blog is not mine. It belongs to God and what he guides me to share. My process is to sit with him and ask him what’s on his heart. The next part is the hard part. Because it’s where faith and surrender come in. He often brings up memories that are hard. Things I don’t want to talk about. I will tell our Father, as I did a few minutes ago, “God, I don’t want to talk about that.” I’m not angry with him for what he brings to mind but the truth is, nine times out of ten it’s memories that are hard. I will feel sadness and a bit of fear in being led to share them. Not wanting to dig into what’s often the ugly of my life. And then I will hear God, gentle and loving “Do you trust me?”. After years of this process with him, my now instant and heartfelt response “Yes of course.” And he reminds me of a truth he’s shown me again and again, he will not bring me to something he won’t bring me through.

For forty plus years I kept females at arm’s length. I couldn’t explain why. What I knew was that when it came to women, there was an automatic distrust. Friendships with males felt much easier. I thought I was simply “a guy’s gal”. I had spent my life up to that point living on my terms, experiencing that life implode, and realizing God had a much different and better plan for my life. It was a couple years into learning about Jesus, reading the Bible, going to church, that I was sharing with a friend about these terrible dreams I was having. In the dreams, I was getting into car accidents with women. The women were driving cars and trying to hit my car, trying to hurt me. 

The friend I was telling about the dreams was a woman from church who I honestly didn’t know that well but felt I could trust. She said with kindness “Megan, I think these dreams are telling you about a fear you have with women. Do you want to pray about it with me?”. Here’s the truth. As silly as it sounds, I didn’t think I had issues with women. I just thought that was how I was made. It wasn’t as though I had experienced a trauma that led to distrust. It was just how it always was.

I didn’t know what my friend meant by “praying about it with her”, but I figured it couldn’t hurt.  She invited me over to her home and said we would pray and ask Jesus to speak into it. Friends, that was when I paused. Have Jesus speak into it? Huh? The day came when we were scheduled to meet. I had so many reservations. I hadn’t ever had Jesus enter into my prayers. I had serious doubts. What did that mean? What if I couldn’t hear him? What if he didn’t show up? What would this even look like? But I had said yes to my friend and I figured, worst case scenario, we would spend some time in prayer and things would be the same. So really, there wasn’t anything to lose.

When I got to her home, we went to a quiet place and she explained to me that we were simply going to pray. We were going to ask Jesus how he saw the situation with the dreams and what Jesus wanted me to know. She explained what many of you have heard me say, that hearing God and Jesus can often sound like our own thoughts in our minds. How to test what I’m hearing with scripture and the character of God to ensure what I was hearing was from him. Then we entered into prayer. I remember sitting there, my eyes closed, heart beating loudly, still questioning “will I hear his voice?”. My friend led the prayer time. She opened by declaring the truth of scripture, how Jesus said, “my sheep listen to my voice.” (John 10:27).  Then she asked Jesus to speak to me about the dreams. 

In my mind I heard what sounded like my voice or thoughts, but it was an answer to the question. “There is a wound from when you were a child that is at the root of these feelings.” I didn’t know what the wound was but also felt something deep inside that seemed to confirm this was true. She then asked Jesus to show me what the wound was. I was brought to a seemingly benign memory – a time when I was a child and an experience I had. It wasn’t a memory I ever thought about it. If you had asked me to list the painful things that had happened in my life, several others would come to mind that felt far worse. So why this one? 

As my friend led me through the prayer time, it was filled with questions to Jesus and then responses I would hear in my mind. Jesus, what is the memory you want to show her? Then I would see the memory replay in my mind. Jesus, how do you see this memory? Then I would hear Jesus reveal how he saw the memory. Jesus showed me that the memory I had pretty much forgotten was actually a moment that led to a significant wound and a lifetime of distrust. Jesus revealed what I thought was “just how I was made” was actually a response to a wound that had never healed. She then asked “Jesus, what do you want her to know?”. And it was at that moment I was able to hear Jesus speak to my heart of his love for me, how he hurt when I hurt, his desire to take my wound. Was I willing to give it to him? In prayer I did. 

That day, that prayer time, was the beginning of healing and freedom I never knew was possible. It was the beginning of hearing Jesus speak truth into my life, heal wounds I was carrying that were both known and unknown. I have since had Jesus come into many prayer times to bring life changing healing. I don’t use the words life changing lightly. When Jesus takes a wound, he heals it. And when he does, there’s a tangible difference. A weight that is lifted. I felt as though my heart expanded. As though it were now bigger and filled with more love. To have lived a lifetime with distrust and have that removed? To realize that actually wasn’t how I was made and that Jesus had so many beautiful trusting relationships with women in store for me? I never would have believed it was possible. 

Friends, there is so much pain in this world. There are so many wounds we carry around, that we often have carried for so long, we don’t even realize there’s a weight to them. Jesus can and will take those wounds. If you didn’t get a chance to read the last post, I encourage you to read it and try the 10-minute prayer times with him, to spend time with him, to hear his voice. There is hope, healing, freedom, peace that can only come from Jesus. It will change your life in the most beautiful way. I want this for you. Much more important than that, Jesus wants this for you. Jesus loves you more than you can imagine and wants to speak truth over you, speak his love over you, take your pain and bring you healing, peace, joy.

Blessing you with time with Him, encounters with Him, hearing His voice.

Stepping In

Friends, I’ll let you in on a secret. This blog, it’s not mine. While I’ve been the writer to-date, I believe there will be multiple writers in the future. Stories that will be told that are not mine. Others who will feel a tug, feel something inside of them encouraging them to share their story. If this is you, I encourage you to press in, begin writing. He may intend for you to share it or he may just want to speak to you through the writing. It may be the beginning of hearing from God. He may be wanting to reveal something to you about an experience you went through. He may want to show you how he saw that situation. Based on my experience, he will want to speak love and truth over you that only he can. 

For those familiar with the blog, I often speak of adventures with God. Hearing his voice and taking steps in faith. That is what this blog is. Each day when I sit down to write, I start first in prayer. My prayer is this: “Heavenly Father, thank you for today. I give my day to you, my work to you. Whatever I do, may it be for you. God, what is on your heart?”.

From there, I wait. Often, I will hear what sounds like my own voice almost immediately answering that question. Today what I heard, “I want them to know how much I love them.” As I sit here now, tears well in my eyes, my heart overwhelmed with His love for you. His desire to breakthrough all the lies from the enemy. That if you could only know how much he loves you, how much he sees you, how much he wants you to hear His voice, so he can not only speak to you, but also move in your life. 

Friends, we have an enemy. He is the Father of lies. (John 8:44) He is likely giving you a list of reasons why what was written above isn’t true. Or painting God as someone distant or who has let you down because of something unbelievably painful you experienced. The enemy doesn’t want you to believe in God, to hear from God, to have a close relationship with Him. The enemy doesn’t want you to hear the voice of God because when you do, you will hear kindness, encouragement, forgiveness, unconditional love. You will hear that you are not alone. You will hear that you are loved to a level impossible to comprehend. You will not be torn down. You will not be made to feel guilt, shame, fear. (Psalm 34:22) The enemy condemns. Our Father, he will scoop you up, hold you, comfort you, and tell you over and over again just how much he loves you.  

There is one catch and there’s only one. It requires spending time with him. Opening yourself to him. Seeking him. God is so good, so loving, so gracious. He loves baby steps. He loves when he sees us take a step towards him, no matter how small or how big that step is. Friends, I feel in urgency in this message. That someone out there is reading this and hurting. That tears are welling from pain you’re experiencing. That our Father wants to comfort you, to take your pain and give you hope. To take the darkness the enemy is trying to drown you in and lift you up into His light and love. 

Will you do me a favor? Will you give yourself 10 minutes with God today? If you’ve never done this before, below are a few ways of how you can do this: 

Starting with a question

Find a quiet space. This could be in your room, on a walk around the block, in the car. You can pray by simply starting a conversation with God. An example is below:

“God, I don’t know how to do this, but I know the process and the words don’t matter to you. You just want to hear from me. I feel ______. I don’t want to carry this anymore. I want to give it to you. What do you want me to know?”

From there, wait and listen. Write down the thoughts that come to your mind. If it comes immediately, write it down. If it doesn’t come immediately, that’s ok. Rest in knowing he is there and there’s no work you have to do. Instead of words, you may get an image or a song that comes to mind. Write that down as well. God speaks in many ways and will speak in a way that is specific to how he made you. One way I’ve found that can kickstart the conversation is asking God, “Do you love me?”. He will respond and it will be in love. That’s one way you can begin to identify what his voice sounds like.

Starting with a verse

Another way is to read a verse from the Bible. A verse from Deuteronomy, 31:8, is below: 

 “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Read the verse and write down the words that stand out to you. Then you can enter into a conversation with God by asking “God, are you here?”. Write down what you hear. A follow-up question you can ask “What do you want me to know?”. I encourage you to write down what you hear and reflect on it.

Starting with a song

The song, Found in You, by Josh Baldwin has been on repeat as I’ve been writing. Today was the first time I heard it and I believe God had it planned to go with this post. You can find it here. I encourage you to find a space where you can close your eyes and listen to the lyrics. After you’ve heard the song, write down what’s on your heart. From there you can enter into prayer. There is a lyric in the song “Turn my ashes into beauty, You have made me, I am found in You.”. The prayer can be “God, there is pain in my life. There are wounds I want to let go of. Will you take the ashes of what was and turn them into beauty? What do you want me to know about the future you have planned for me?” I encourage you to write what you hear. 

We have another post on hearing God’s voice and if you haven't had a chance to read it, I encourage you to check it out and try the listening experiment. There is so much hope, peace, healing, joy that is available once you enter into relationship with God. He wants to speak his love over you. In prayer, through the Bible, in relationship with Him. I encourage you, step in today. Know that I am praying for you. And, if you find God encouraging you to share the results of your prayer time, an encounter you had, a story, I would love to hear from you. Simply email blog@calvarylg.com.

Praying blessings of hearing his voice and knowing how much you are loved.

Limits

Confession, I am a daddy’s girl. For as long as I can remember, my dad has been my bestie, my champion, the one who has had my back no matter what. I don’t remember a time not feeling my dad’s love for me. When I had nightmares as a child, he was the one who came to my room to comfort me. On one particular evening I had a nightmare so awful that it woke me up. I could hear my dad as he came to check on me and for some reason, I pretended to be asleep. What a gift that was as I was able to hear his words of comfort, his reassurance that everything was going to be ok, that he loved me. Then there were the uncomfortable years of middle school. Of all the people I had around me, he was the one I felt safe to confide in. He sat on the floor with me and just listened as I explained how uncomfortable I felt in my own skin. Again, he gave me his reassurance that all would be ok and that he loved me. And then in my adult life, when he unexpectedly came over to find my husband moving out, discovering the secret I’d been harboring, that my marriage was over. Lifting my eyes to him, feeling so broken and sad, crumbling into his arms as he wrapped me in a hug. I don’t know if words were even spoken. I do know I felt his love for me. 

While this was my experience with my father, that relationship, the love and support I felt, it was unique to him. There were other relationships in my life, that were not this way. Relationships where I did not feel safe, where I was let down, where the behavior should have been different. Friends, I’ve seen both sides. Betrayed by loved ones. Physically assaulted by loved ones. Cheated on by loved ones. Let down by loved ones. And I’ve done the same. Well, at least the last one. I’ve let others down. I wish it weren’t true, but the fact remains, we’re all human. In our very nature, we are broken. When we look to another human to give us hope, to give us peace, to take our pain, to heal our brokenness, the truth of the matter is we will be let down. There is no human that will measure up. Perhaps they can in the short term, but given enough time, even with the best of intentions, there will be disappointment. My earthly father is such a gift and blessing in my life. But the truth is, as amazing and wonderful as he is, he’s no match to our Heavenly Father. Not even close.

Friends, I’ve been hurt by my dad. It’s been rare but it’s happened. I’ve hurt my father. And there came a time in my life where I realized I had put too much hope in my dad. I was depending on my earthly father when I was meant to depend on my Heavenly Father. Because here’s the truth, my earthy father could comfort me. He could tell me it was going to be ok and that he loved me. As a human, that was the best he could do, and it was wonderful. But it wasn’t enough. There was a limit to how much he could help. In my darkest pain, my dad’s words weren’t enough. I needed God. Giving my dad my pain, it didn’t change anything. When I called out to God, oh how he answered that call. He drew near. He offered comfort no human could offer. He offered hope where I couldn’t see that hope existed. And he showed me a way. More than that, he made a way, through the darkness, through the pain, that led to new life, new hope, new joy.

If you don’t know God, or if you do but find yourself hurting, troubled, worried, I encourage you to take a moment, right now, and reflect. Grab a piece of paper or write in your phone.

-       Is there an area of your life where you’re putting your trust in someone or something else to make it better? What is the situation?

-       What is it that you’re searching for? Longing for?

-       Would you consider trusting this to God? 

Friends, healing didn’t come until I gave my pain to God. Hope didn’t come until I gave my fears to God. Peace didn’t come until I gave my burdens to God. It’s an exchange. A beautiful exchange with the only one capable of doing the exchange. I encourage you, if you weren’t able to do the reflection above, carve out five minutes and do it later today. Then I encourage you to pray:

God, I’m giving ___ (this pain, this situation, this fear…) to you. I want the hope, the peace, the healing I’ve heard you can give. Please take this and allow me to experience you and the hope and peace that come with you. In Jesus name, Amen.

If I can be praying for you, please email blog@calvarylg.com.

Praying blessings of healing, hope, peace and joy in Him.

Myths of Christianity - Part 3

Last week I was writing for the blog and to be honest, it wasn’t going well. I had spent a good three hours and it seemed like I was barely getting anything on the page. That night I didn’t sleep well, and in the morning, I woke up and felt God speak to my heart, “Delete what you wrote”. In prayer I asked him “But God, that was three hours of work. I don’t have anything else for this week. Really? Toss it?” His response, “Yep. Trust me.” I had thought about saving a draft, just in case I heard him wrong. I didn’t have any back-up blog posts written. Deleting it meant there may not be a post for that week. I was wrestling with what I was being asked to do. I also felt God, right there with me, hearing him again speak to my heart, “Trust me.” Friends, I took a deep breath and deleted it. And as soon as I did, I felt a peace settle over me. The circumstances hadn’t changed. I still didn’t have a post for the week or time in my schedule to write one. And yet there was a peace that filled me, like a windstorm that had suddenly calmed. 

Myth 3: God doesn’t speak

God was guiding me. He was telling me to surrender. Reminding me that trusting His voice, what He was telling me to do, was going to require me to step out in faith and following and trusting him was the very best thing I could do. For the majority of my life, I believed God was someone we gave our requests to. That faith was believing in him and prayer was a one-way conversation. I would go to him in prayer at night, ask for his protection and help for things I wanted to happen in my life, and when I was done rattling it all off, closing it with an “Amen”. I pictured God as being out there somewhere, sitting on a throne far above the clouds. I had no idea God’s desire was for so much more. That there was even a possibility of more. If you told me God speaks, I would have quickly and confidently told you, you had lost your mind. I might have even thought you were bizarrely religious and distanced myself.

At that time, I didn’t read the Bible. I didn’t know all throughout the Bible are examples of God speaking. That God desires to be in relationship with us. Think of your most treasured relationships…the people you love to spend time with. The frequent, daily conversations. From quick texts to long conversations that run into the evening hours. The moments of sharing both your deepest pain, fears, heartbreak to your moments of greatest celebration and joy. The honesty in the relationship, where the trust is so deep, you hear things you may not want to hear, and you share things you wouldn’t share otherwise. This is the relationship God desires with us. It’s not for the chosen few. It’s not reserved for those with special gifts. The Bible tells us directly, God has no favorites. (Romans 2:11) This type of relationship, this intimacy, is available to us all. We have another post on learning to hear his voice. You can find that here. Relationship, intimate relationship, is not only possible with God, it’s what he longs for. 

When we are in relationship with God, friends, there is truly nothing better. It is having the one who knows the best possible outcome for every choice we have to make, right there to give us advice. It is having the one who knows your greatest pain who will not only offer the perfect words of encouragement, but also take that pain and bring comfort, healing and peace. It is having someone nudge you to take a chance, to step out in faith, and then seeing that trust rewarded with an outcome you couldn’t have anticipated. I have been on a wild ride with God for the last five years. Stepping out in faith, in some ways it’s become easier as I can look back and see all the ways he’s honored that trust in the past. He shows me his fingerprints. That he was behind it. It’s not just the feeling of peace I’ll have come over me. There is often a tangible result. That blog post I deleted? The evening after I deleted it, I slept beautifully. The next morning, I sat down and in record time had a new post written, my other work done, and even extra time to get a run in. I honestly felt like I’d entered some weird space-time continuum where time had slowed down just for me and I was getting two hours for every actual hour. Friends, God is awesome. If you want a relationship with him, it’s there for the taking. I promise, there is nothing better. 

It starts with hearing His voice so I encourage you to read the post and try the experiment. Another resource I highly recommend, is Brad Jersak’s “Can you hear me? Tuning in to the God who speaks.” It can be found on Amazon and is absolutely worth a read/listen. A quick prayer I encourage you to pray:

“God, I want a relationship with you. Will you help me to hear your voice? In Jesus name, Amen.”

There is no better relationship to invest in. No better adventure you will experience. The creator of the heavens and earth speaks. And he wants to speak to you.

Praying blessings of hearing his voice and intimate relationship with Him.

Myths of Christianity – Part 2

Friends, as I shared earlier this week, so much of what I believed about faith has been wrong. I was raised Catholic and we went to church every Sunday. My experience taught me that church was boring and my faith was a one day a week, check the box, activity. We would actually ask if we could go to the 7:45am service because they didn’t sing, and it meant we would get out of there faster. I felt close to God because I prayed nightly, giving him my wish list, and trusting he was going to make it happen for me. The only thing I got right about faith was that God loved me. Thank goodness His love for me, for all of us, is not dependent on us getting it right. Because based on how I lived 89% of my life (I actually ran the numbers), I would be in serious trouble. The myth I believed?

Myth: Faith = Church = Boring

Now, I will say, anything we go through the motions of is going to get boring. It may be a comfort because it’s predictable, but it’s not going to be exciting. My faith was a go through the motions, kind of faith. And friends, I wasn’t even doing anything worthwhile. By the time I got to college I stopped going to church. I tried going back to Catholic church as an adult, and I remember sitting through the service and thinking to myself, no, this is not where I belong. I didn’t feel great about not going to church because I was no longer checking that box. But it didn’t bother me enough to do anything about it. It was something very easy to figure out another day. And again, God loved me. I believed in him and occasionally prayed, so in my mind I was good. 

It’s funny. When things are going well, we tend to keep things as they are. The first time I went back to church, to a Christian service, was when I was so hurt and broken I was willing to do things differently. I realized my status quo simply wasn’t working anymore. I had my dad go with me and we sat in the back. I was skeptical and wanted to check things out from a distance where I felt safe, hidden, and close to an exit. I remember when the music began, I heard drums and the beginning of a song that while I didn’t know, sounded like something I would want to know. I remember looking at my dad and exclaimed “This is what the music is like??!”. After the music/worship part of the service, the Pastor came out, began teaching, and again, I couldn’t believe it. He was using words I understood! He was speaking, with everyday words, and about things I could relate to. I honestly don’t remember what the specific teaching was about. What I do remember was the feeling I had – that I was home. 

The feeling of home was not because of the building, the music, or even that particular Pastor or teaching that day. The home was God. Have you ever been lost? Whether you’re driving, or walking around an area you haven’t been in, and you lose your way? It’s a horrible feeling. It’s uncomfortable and stressful. Then comes that moment when you find your way. There is a peace that settles over you. That is the peace I felt. It was feeling God call me home to Him and realizing I was finally there. He was calling me through the songs I was hearing. He was calling me through the teaching from the Pastor. He was calling me through His words in the Bible. He was calling me home to Him. 

Now for those who go to church and quite honestly, feel a bit bored in their faith, I understand. It goes back to the myth I too believed, that faith = church = boring. Church alone, faith alone, does not equal excitement. It can certainly bring peace. But excitement? Now that’s something very different and we’ll get to that next week. In the meantime, I encourage you to try something different today, change up that status quo. For a playlist to hear a few songs, click here. If you’re open to some bite-sized content, visit here. You can hear stories from others that offer encouragement, message moments from our Pastors, or watch and listen to worship songs. 

I am praying for you. I mean that. I believe if you’ve found this blog, if you’re reading it, God has something for you. He is drawing you to Him and a relationship with Him unlike what you’ve experienced before. Not because of the writing, but because the stories he has me share, are about relationship with Him. Life changing, peace dwelling, awesome relationship with Him.

Blessing you with peace, joy, happiness, and a very not-boring relationship with Him.

Myths of Christianity – Part 1

For those familiar with the blog, you may remember I spent 40 years of my life as a self-identified “former Catholic”. I had not and did not read the Bible. I didn’t go to church. While I knew and continued to pray to God, much of what I believed about faith was absorbed through culture. I had lots of ideas that quite frankly, were wrong. It wasn’t until my best friend shared an experience that happened to him, that I realized, I may have unintentionally and significantly hurt people with my words, with what I believed, with statements about faith, about God, that were wrong. Today, I’d like to share the first of three myths I believed, that were exactly that, myths. False beliefs I had that couldn’t have been more wrong.

Myth 1: You are given what you can handle

This is a big one. Friends I’m embarrassed to think about how many times I’ve said this to others. In our culture, we often say this, meaning to encourage someone going through a hard time. At least I did. In reality, it does the opposite. In my darkest days, as I struggled to get through a day, when the pain felt so overwhelming that I had to break the day down into 30-minute increments to make it through, I did not feel I was given what I could handle. And here’s what I’ve come to know, we are given more than we can handle. But never more than God can.

The most heart wrenching, terrifying moments of my life have been when I could not help my children. There have been two moments with my children when they were going through something I could not fix. One I shared last week when my son was in the hospital with a bacterial infection that risked him losing his vision in an eye. The second was actually worse. It was a life and death situation. We were working with doctors, I was doing all the things as a mom I could think of, but the situation was out of my hands. I remember sitting at my kitchen counter, a rare moment of alone time with no one else at home, and I broke down. It was the moment I realized what we were facing was bigger than anything I could do as a mom. It was more than I could handle. I broke down and cried like I had never cried before. And I called out to God. In my desperation, my fear, my anger, my pain…I laid it all out. Holding nothing back I let it all out. Tears streaming down my face, anguish in my heart, telling God in no uncertain terms that we needed his help. We needed him to intervene. That my son was His son and we needed him to do what I could not, help him. 

In God’s great mercy, he met me in that place. He was not afraid of my anger. He was not disappointed in my fear and frustration. He was not offended by my confrontation. He was not surprised by my unleashing of emotions and desperate plea for help. He was my loving Father. I felt his encouragement to let it all out. I felt his compassion for the pain and fear I was experiencing. I felt his comfort as he let me know his overwhelming love for my son and me. While the situation was far more than we could handle, it wasn’t more than He could handle. He took all that I was feeling and cleansed my heart. He took my pain and fear and exchanged it for hope. And not long after, He brought us through that situation. 

More than a myth, it is a lie that “we are given what we can handle”. In this broken world we live in, we will experience more than we can handle. But never more than God can handle. The love God has for us, it’s more than we could ever understand. His ways are not ours. He can make a way through a situation when we can’t see a way that exists. (Isaiah 43:19) In the midst of our darkest pain, he can give us hope. But we have to reach out to him. We have to be willing to give the situation to him. My encouragement to you, whatever you’re facing, however big or small, give it to God. Allow him to come into the situation, to comfort you, to let you know how precious you are to him, that you are loved. And that there is nothing He can’t handle. A simple prayer I encourage you to pray:

God, I give you ____. I give it to you and ask for your help and your hope. In Jesus name, Amen.

Whatever you may be facing, please know you are not alone. We welcome the chance to pray for you, to join you in giving what you’re facing to God and praying for his help and hope to invade your situation. If we can pray for you, simply email blog@calvarylg.com.

Praying blessings of peace and hope. 

The Emotional Opportunity

Emotions can be exhausting. Wouldn’t you agree? Worry, stress, anger, hurt, frustration, weariness. Those are the ones that seem to hold on the longest. Joy, peace, happiness, somehow, they feel more elusive. Harder to find. Harder to hold on to. There is something in our human nature that seems naturally drawn to the more negative emotions, even though our souls cry out and long for the positive. To make matters more complicated, the negative emotions, can actually feel good. At least for a while. Anger can feel justified. Allow me to recap an experience that happened just last Friday. 

My husband and I were headed out for a date night. We had made it through another week of five kids distance learning and were ready to escape our home and enjoy an evening of good food, conversation, and a few hours without hearing our names called, serving a meal, hearing about our “bad wi-fi”, or picking up discarded clothes on the ground. I was excited. Friends, I actually got ready which is a rare occurrence for me during covid. I was wearing an outfit with an actual waistband instead of elastic, my make-up was on, and I even wore high heels! (The last part was also to ensure I still knew how to walk in them.) We looked like two kids headed out on a first date.

When we got to the restaurant the gentleman working there was just finishing cleaning a table and directed us to sit down. We couldn’t believe it. A date night and an available table with no wait?!! Does it get any better?? As we sat down, huge smiles on our faces, talking about what we were going to order I see an older gentleman and his wife walking towards us, glaring and raising their voices at us. It seems we had “stolen” their table. They had declared it theirs by placing a green comb and a Hilton pen on the table in addition to tilting the chair toward the table. My husband and I had missed the clues. Friends, they were so angry. I remember getting up to give them their table, honestly stunned as I continued to get lectured and reprimanded for not recognizing the table had been taken.

As my husband went inside to place our order and I stood outside waiting for another available table, I was angry. Arms crossed, looking at the gentleman sitting down at the table we were just sitting at, my mind replaying what just happened, focusing now on how offended I was and how angry I felt. I don’t like getting yelled at by anyone, let alone a stranger for an unintentional offense. In my mind, they were in the wrong, they were rude, and of course I had a right to be angry. The anger felt right. It felt justified. Those people were wrong. 

I knew I needed to forgive them. Not because they had apologized. Not because I had a change of heart. But because I wanted to have a change of heart. I didn’t want to sit in anger. So I declared in my mind “I forgive them.” And then I felt God lead me to pray for them, to bless them. I knew it was God’s leading as I certainly didn’t want to pray for them. I was still angry. I had declared that I had forgiven them, but my emotions hadn’t caught up with the decision. Why should I pray for them? And then I felt God speak to my heart “Megan, I love them. I want you to pray for them. What if you’re the only one I have praying for them today?” I’ve learned God asks me questions, not because he doesn’t know the answer, but so I can understand what he’s telling me. 

God knows everything about us. Everything about me. How he’s taught me that he wants me to not only forgive those I’m hurt or offended by, but that he also wants me to pray for them. While God did not cause the offense or the couple to yell at my husband and me, he allowed it and would use it for his purposes if I let him. So I prayed “In Jesus name I bless them with joy, peace, and a wonderful evening.” Now, I don’t know if that couple felt more peace. I don’t know if they had a wonderful evening. What I do know is that my husband and I did. Not long after I prayed I got lost in the evening with my husband. We had a wonderful night full of joy, peace, laughter, happiness. 

There is an opportunity extended to us each time we’re hurt, let down, angry, offended. We can forgive and we can pray. God is so good and so gracious, that he blesses us when we bless others. (Genesis 12:3) My encouragement to you, try it. Experiment for one day. Any time you find yourself irritated, someone cuts you off while driving, you read something on social media, experiment with the opportunity. If you find yourself upset, you can forgive them by simply saying in your mind “I forgive ___.” I encourage you not to stop there. Double down on the opportunity and say a prayer for that person. You can say “In Jesus name, I bless them with ____.” And fill in the blank with whatever comes to mind. If you’re not certain, blessing with peace and hope is always one of my favorites. 

Creating a new reflex/behavior in my life, taking each negative emotion and using it as an opportunity to forgive and pray for others, friends I wish I could describe just how much joy and peace it’s brought to my life. It almost feels selfish to do it because I receive so much from it. I’m excited for you. Experiment with it. I’d love to know how your experiments go! Email me at blog@calvarylg.com and let me know. 

Praying blessings of joy, peace, and blessing to be a blessing.

In the Waiting

My friends, I come to you this morning with a heart that is hurting. As I write, I feel tears rolling down my face, slowly and steadily. There is someone in my life, someone I care about, who is hurting. There is a pain, deep within him, that has never been healed. The pain began as a child, has never left, and haunts him still. I’ve seen this wound cause pain and torment. Behind his smile that often feels like a mask, I can see the weight of the pain. There’s so much I want to say to him. Truth I want to speak to him and over him. But I know now is not the time. That my words won’t land. That the breakthrough I so desperately want for him, the healing, the hope, the peace I want for him, that there is a timeline for it I’m unaware of. And it hurts. It hurts more than my words can convey. We are in the waiting.

Waiting is not easy for me. I don’t know if it’s easy for anyone. A few years ago, my youngest son got very sick. He hadn’t been feeling well that week. It was winter and illnesses were common. He seemed to have caught a cold, then something else, and by the weekend he had woken up with his left eye swollen shut. We immediately took him to the emergency room and he was admitted. It seemed he had caught a bacterial infection. It was in his eye and the infection was spreading down his cheek. Bright redness from the swollen eye streaking down his face. While I was worried, we were in the hospital. He was getting the meds he needed and I took comfort in that. As the day and evening wore on, I expected he would turn a corner. Instead, it was getting worse. The doctors were getting more concerned as there was a risk of blindness in the eye. The feeling of helplessness, fear, worry. My sweet beautiful son, so sick, and nothing I could do.

His dad came to the hospital so I could have a few hours and get a change of clothes while our son slept. I’m a runner and not knowing what to do with my emotions, I went for a run to try and get some of the worry and stress out. It wasn’t pretty. Tears were falling as I ran until feeling overcome, I hit my knees. Right there on the street a few blocks from my home, I was on my knees, tears falling, begging God to intervene. It was a desperate plea… “God, he should be better now. He’s not. Please help. We need you. Please heal my son.” I don’t remember picking myself back up, the run home, the drive back to the hospital. But when I did get to the hospital, my sweet boy had turned the corner.

Here’s what I believe. God knew he was going to heal my son completely. I didn’t know the timing. I didn’t know how. But God was going to use this. He was going to do something in the waiting. I was trusting the doctors and the medicine. I had my own timeline and order of things I expected to happen. I was putting my trust in people more than God. God wanted me to trust Him. To anchor my hope, my faith, my trust in Him. The minute I hit my knees and turned to God, seeking and trusting him, I believe my prayer was answered. I’m willing to bet it happened at that exact moment. 

I’ve had many other situations where the waiting was much longer. As God pulled me from a corporate job to working for Him, a year of waiting. Waiting for guidance, waiting for confirmation, waiting. The person in my life I mentioned at the start of this post, we are years in the waiting. He doesn’t know we’re waiting. I do. As I sat with God last night, hurting over the situation and praying, I felt God comfort and encourage me, guiding me to trust his timing. That he loves this person more than I can comprehend. That he has a plan and his timing is perfect. That His ways are not mine. (Isaiah 55:8-9) In fact, they’re better.

So what can we do in the waiting? We can pray. We can look back at the times in our lives where we’ve seen God show up and intervene. We can remember those moments and hold on to them, hold on to who He is. I find comfort listening to songs, reading and spending time holding on to the truth in verses about who God is and his faithfulness. I have a playlist with some of my favorite songs you can listen to here. “Be Still” has been playing on repeat as I’ve been writing. Verses that I meditate on:

“Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.” – Psalm 62: 5 - 6

“Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you.” - Psalm 25: 4-5

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isaiah 43: 1b - 2

If you’re waiting on breakthrough, my encouragement to you, let’s do something different together. Let’s pray on it. We will pray alongside you. I will pray alongside you. Simply email blog@calvarylg.com with your prayer request and we will join in prayer, lifting this to God and seeking in exchange his peace and comfort, trusting Him in the waiting.

Praying blessings of peace, comfort, trust and breakthrough.

Spotting the Lies

My friends, for those who have read previous posts, you’ve heard about my unexpected divorce some years ago. That I didn’t see it coming. How it was right after my husband and I had celebrated our 10-year anniversary and even how I was holding my child’s toy in my hand when he told me how unhappy he was. What I didn’t share was that when it happened, I told very few. In fact, there were three people who knew. My two best friends, one in Chicago and the other in LA, and a colleague. I ended up sharing with my colleague as I needed someone to cover for me when I was at work. There were times the pain was so great; I would find myself with tears falling down my face and needing to excuse myself to the bathroom to compose myself. She, in her great kindness, covered for me. 

The reason I didn’t tell my family? Why my dad didn’t find out until he dropped by unexpectedly as my husband was physically moving his things out of our home? The first was that the pain was so great, it really did hurt to breathe. I didn’t have the strength to talk about it. The other reason? I was ashamed and embarrassed. I felt responsible. That somehow, I wasn’t worth loving. That I didn’t matter enough for him to stay. That everything I had to offer wasn’t enough. Those were the thoughts in my head. I share this with you now in the hopes that it will help you to spot what I wasn’t able to at the time – that I was hearing lies.  

Friends, I think we can all agree there is evil in this world. The evil isn’t an unknown entity. It’s Satan. He has other names. I commonly refer to him as the enemy. (1 Peter 5:8) But the name I have found that most accurately reflects his character, is the father of lies. (John 8:44) What I was hearing, when I was in deep pain and walking through the loss of my marriage, were lies. 

“You’re not loved.” 

“You’re not worth loving.” 

“It’s your fault.” 

“You don’t matter.” 

In the Bible it tells us “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.” (John 10:10). The thief is the enemy. His goal is to harm and destroy. In my life, I have found the weapon used most often is to tell me lies and try and get me to believe them about myself. I didn’t realize it at the time. It didn’t occur to me to question the lies or the source. Not even my ex-husband was saying these things to me so where were these statements coming from? As I would dwell on them, thinking about how I wasn’t loved or worth loving, my wound would remain open and bleeding. Have you ever found yourself thinking negative thoughts about yourself? Something like,

I’m not good enough.

I’m not smart enough.

I’m not loved.

Whether someone said them or as I experienced, they seemed to be thoughts in my head, the source is the enemy, the father of lies. They are lies and they are not true. Whether or not you know or believe in Jesus, this truth remains unchanged, YOU ARE LOVED. God loves you. You are good. You are smart. You are known. You are seen. You are loved. God is love. The Bible shows us his thoughts for us are countless, that were we to know the number of thoughts he has for us, for each of us, it would be greater than the grains of sand on a beach. (Psalm 139:18) God speaks and his voice is one of pure love. The enemy lies and will seek to have you believe negative things about yourself. Lies that hurt, that make us feel guilt, shame, abandonment. My hope for you, is that you will spot these lies, discard them, and speak truth over yourself, that you know above all else, You are Loved.

A practical exercise for you: If a negative thought appears in your mind about who you are, whatever it is, I encourage you to declare “No, that is not true. I am not ____. I am loved.”

A verse you can read and that I encourage you to declare as well,

“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.” 1 John 4:16

Friends, the heart of God is love. He is love and wants you to know how deeply you are loved. This is the truth I pray you hold on to and that you rest in. You. Are. Loved. 

Praying blessings of peace, joy and knowing how abundantly you are loved.

Surrender in Covid-19

Surrender – it’s an interesting word. What comes to mind when you think of surrender? For me, my mind flashes to action movies and crime shows I’ve seen. The bad guy is on the run, trying to keep from getting caught by police, until he finds himself trapped in an alley and with nowhere else to run, lifts his hands in surrender and is then taken into custody. The person gives up. In another storyline, we’ll see someone taken against their will who surrenders to their captor in an attempt to stay alive (and of course break free later in the movie). In most Hollywood versions, surrender is not good. It seems to almost be in direct opposition of our instincts doesn’t it? To surrender is to give up. To be held against our will. To be forced to do something we don’t want to do. 

Surrendering my life, my plans, my emotions, that’s not something I’d say has come naturally to me. Often as a child I was described as “stubborn”. Kinder descriptions would be “determined” or “driven”. I had things I wanted to get done. I wanted to succeed. Not doing something I said I was going to do, it didn’t happen often, mostly because it felt so awful when it did. Not completing something or achieving what I said I would do, left me feeling like a failure. That somehow, I had broken a promise or was less worthy because I didn’t get done what I said I would. 

Having children was my first real lesson in surrendering my plans. Anyone who has had little ones, even watching or caring for them, finds out pretty quickly that plans are exactly that. Something we intend to do but not necessarily what happens. I remember one morning as a single mom, having gotten all three kiddos up, dressed, fed, dropped off at day care, driving 90 minutes to work, only to get to my desk and get a phone call that someone had just gotten sick. Have you ever received that call? With my purse strap still on my shoulder, computer bag still in hand, I turned right back around, exited the door I had just come in, the day now headed in a very direction than I had planned. As parents there are countless examples of plans that get changed and yet it still feels like we’re in control because we’re calling the shots in the situation. 

Covid-19 has made it so that every single one of us, whether we’re single, married, children, no children, young or old, has had the feeling of control taken away. More than six months into shelter-in-place orders, the future is still unclear. Will it get worse or better? When will kids go back to school full time? When will offices reopen? When will face masks no longer be part of our essential items when going outside the home? Surrender in this season hasn’t been easy. What I’ve come to realize though, is that not surrendering, holding tightly to my plans or how I’d like things to go, is causing even more stress and fatigue. 

Whether or not you believe in God, I submit that surrendering is something we can all do in this season to give ourselves a break and bring some relief. For those at home with a to-do list a mile long, what if we surrendered that list to the essentials? That success is no longer determined by whether or not we get everything done we wanted to get done, but rather getting done what the day would allow and celebrating the little wins? Your child whose tears you were able to dry, that’s a win. Your friend or your spouse that you were able to encourage and bring some light into their day? That’s a huge win. For yourself, taking 15 minutes, taking even 5 minutes, to go for a walk, sit outside, to pause and be. That’s a win. For all of us, to surrender that not everything will get done or go as planned, and that’s ok, that it will all be ok. What if we exchanged that stress for peace? Exchanged the feeling of frustration and disappointment for surrender and peace? What if we looked at what we did achieve in the day instead of what we didn’t? No matter how big or small it is, let’s celebrate it. 

The truth of the matter is, we’ve never been in control. Our plans have always been subject to change. Tomorrow is never promised. The one thing we do have control of, is how we respond to what we’re being faced with. My encouragement to you, is to surrender. For those who believe in God, I encourage you to pray and ask God what he wants you to surrender and what he wants to give you in its place. For those who may not believe in God or who have never prayed before, I encourage you with the same. If you have doubts that prayer might not work, that’s ok. I encourage you to try anyway. There’s nothing to lose and only peace to gain. And if you’re still hesitant, will you allow me to pray for you? The prayer I’m praying for you:

“Father, I believe in you. I trust your love and your plans. I thank you for who you’ve brought to this post today and for the opportunity to pray over them. In Jesus name I bless them with hope, with health, with joy. I pray your angels surround them and care for them. I pray they tangibly feel your peace no matter what the day brings. May they know just how wide and how deep your love for them is. I pray this in Jesus name, Amen.” 

If we can pray for you more specifically, simply visit calvarylg.com/prayer.

Praying blessings of peace, hope, surrender and joy.

Holding on to Hurt

“I’m not ready to forgive.” Have you ever found yourself uttering those words? I certainly have. The other line I’ve used “My emotions aren’t there yet.” Sometimes the pain is so great, so raw, that the idea of forgiving the one who caused the pain, it seems impossible. When my husband decided our marriage was over, I was devastated. We had had a happy marriage for ten years. We’d dated for six years prior to that. If there were signs, I didn’t see them. We didn’t argue. In fact, we had celebrated our ten-year wedding anniversary just about a month before he came to me saying he was unhappy. We had gone out to dinner, given each other new wedding bands, he had sent me a note from work that day saying it was the best 16 years of his life. So when I say I didn’t see the signs, I really didn’t. I can remember sitting on the couch as I listened to him tell me how unhappy he was. I was holding one of our boy’s toys in my hand that had been absently left on the couch. As I heard his words, flipping the toy around in my hand, I remember feeling hurt, angry, confused, scared, betrayed.

The situation got far worse in so many ways. I remember feeling incredibly angry. And underneath that, deep anguish. In the midst of the pain I asked myself “will I ever be able to forgive him?”. The honest answer I had at that time “absolutely not.”. My pain was aimed at the person who caused it. To forgive him felt like it was somehow saying that the pain he caused was ok. In my mind there was a clear right and wrong. I was in the right. He was in the wrong. So no, he didn’t deserve forgiveness. 

That’s where I had it wrong. There were actually three places I had it profoundly wrong. The first was in deciding he didn’t “deserve” forgiveness. Friends, the truth is none of us “deserve” forgiveness. We’re human. We hurt others. We don’t mean to, but the truth is, it happens. When I’ve hurt someone, oh do I want forgiveness and I want it fast. I never want to hurt others. I can’t remember a time I’ve intentionally tried to hurt someone. But the amount of times I’ve unintentionally caused someone pain? When the words come out wrong, when I speak out of anger or frustration, when I get it wrong? Honestly, I don’t want the tally because I’m certain I would be horrified. We forgive others because we’ve been forgiven. Not because of anything we’ve done, but because of Jesus. Jesus stood in the gap for us. We are forgiven because of Him. And because we’ve been forgiven, we need to forgive. (Ephesians 4:32)

The second area I had it wrong was in believing forgiveness was an emotion. It’s not. It’s a decision. We make the decision to forgive and the emotional healing comes after. Forgiveness frees us. When we hold on to pain, anger, resentment, it causes us more pain than if we make the decision to forgive. The Bible shows us that God is judge. He guides us to forgive and to trust him to judge others. (Hebrews 10:30) We are not to hold onto anger or seek revenge. All that does is keep us in a constant state of anger and bitterness. When we decide to forgive, we are giving it to God to handle. In return, he blesses us and takes the anger, the hurt, the frustration. He takes the negative emotions from us and exchanges them for peace and healing. 

In my life I’ve experienced God prove himself faithful in this time and time again. I’ve learned now, to declare forgiveness, in the midst of a battle. I’ll give a tangible example from this week. I was in an argument with my teenage son. I was angry. He was being disrespectful and unkind. And oh was I mad. As I’m talking to him and feeling my anger rise, in my mind I declared “I forgive him.” I want to highlight I did not say it out loud to my son. It was a declaration to God and was said in my mind. And in that very moment, my anger went from a 10 to 7. It allowed the pressure to reduce enough to keep me from saying something I would later regret. Granted, compared to deep wounds, that was an easy situation to declare forgiveness. Let’s go back to the deep wound that was much harder for me to forgive.

In situations where the pain is incredibly deep, declaring forgiveness and feeling the emotional healing, that may take time. In the beginning, when I declared forgiveness of my ex-husband, my tone was similar to a child being forced to give an apology to a sibling. Arms crossed, anger, I imagine written all over my face, and the words so hard to declare. “I forgive him.” I said the words but I’ll be honest, it was hard. What I had come to realize was holding on to my hurt and anger, it wasn’t causing him any pain. I wasn’t gaining anything by it. In fact it was the opposite. It was causing me to stay in the wound, reliving the hurt and anger on a daily basis. So each day I would declare it again. “I forgive him.” I did this day, after day, after day, until one day, I was surprised to find there was a feeling of peace when I said it. A gentleness. My emotions had caught up with the decision. Sometimes, depending on the wound, even declaring forgiveness can feel like too big of a step. If that’s you, I encourage you to consider being willing to be willing to forgive. Perhaps that’s a step you can take? Where each day you declare “I’m willing to be willing to forgive ___.” God will meet you in that place. There will be a day the declaration moves to “I forgive ___.” And over time, you’ll find the declaration and the emotions are one.  

The last area I had it wrong was thinking that forgiveness means reconciliation. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean the relationship is a healthy one for you or that it should be restored. There are many that it does and a few where that might not be the case. Some relationships aren’t safe for us. Does God want us to forgive everyone? Yes. Forgiveness is a decision you’re making. Reconciliation is the restoration of that relationship and that is something different. If there’s someone in your life that continually hurts you emotionally, I encourage you to seek counsel - a trusted friend, a counselor, seeking God in prayer, to determine if the relationship is one that should be restored or if boundaries are needed.  

Friends, I find myself forgiving people daily. The fault is my own. As humans we are so quick to take offense. Each night as I spend time with God, I’ll ask Him “Is there anyone I need to forgive?” 9.5 times out of 10 he’ll bring someone to mind. It will usually be someone I hadn’t even thought of and likely didn’t speak to that day. So why does God bring it to mind? Because he knows that if somehow they’ve hurt me, in even the smallest of ways, or if I’m holding on to offense that I may not even be aware of, he wants to take that from me. He wants to free me from that emotion, knowing it can and will harm me if I hold on to it. So I forgive. And I ask God for forgiveness. I encourage you, right at this moment, to pause and ask the following question:

“Is there anyone I need to forgive?”

If someone comes to mind, I encourage you to declare forgiveness. Say in your mind or out loud “I forgive ____.” If the wound is too great and the step is too much, I encourage you to declare “I am willing to be willing to forgive ____.”

If you’re willing, I encourage you to do this daily until the declaration and emotions are one. If we can be praying for you as you take this courageous and beautiful step to healing, please reach out to us here.

Blessing you with peace, joy, forgiveness and healing.

Confessions of a (formerly) bored Christian - Part 3

My friends, I’ll be honest. Since last week I’ve been wondering just where this post on adventure would be headed. Day after day I’ve been asking God, “what are you going to have me share?”. I wrestled as the human part of me was a little anxious. God had given me the set-up – He had let me know it was going to be about adventures with him. But he hadn’t given me the answer. He wanted me to trust him. To trust that today, as I sat down to write, he would guide the writing. I share this with you now in part as an example of an adventure with God. His word, the Bible, says “Do not worry about tomorrow.” (Matthew 6:24). So, as I wondered, (and worried), and asked over the weekend about what he wanted this post to focus on, I would hear his voice lovingly respond with a question, “Are you excited?”. I could feel myself smile and respond with a hesitant “Yes??”. He followed up with another question, “Do you trust me?”. Still smiling I could feel the burden lifting and his peace settling in as I responded enthusiastically “Yes!”. And then he reminded me of the scripture above. To not worry about tomorrow and to trust him. To lean not on my understanding, but to surrender and trust Him and he would make my path straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

As I sit here now, I feel His smile and His presence. That with each word written there is a surrender and trust. This is the adventure that occurs every time I write for him and about him. God asks me to take a leap of faith and trust that he is guiding the writing. I trust that I’m hearing his voice. This is just one of the many adventures I have with God. They are all anchored in a relationship with him and always require a leap of faith. We have a post on hearing God’s voice and I truly encourage you to press in here. The adventures start and end with hearing Him. You can hear Him when you read the Bible and in prayer and conversation with Him. If I could point to one thing that changed my faith from being truly boring to feeling like I’m on an off-road adventure buckled up, holding on, with a smile on my face and trust and joy in my heart, this is it. God speaks. God will guide. He will comfort. He will bring peace. He will give you assignments (if you ask for them). He will have you pray for others. He will tell you again and again and again just how much you are loved by him. That you are seen by him. That you matter, so much more than you can imagine, to him. 

A thousand people could tell you that they love you. It wouldn’t mean even a fraction of what it means when you hear God tell you that he loves you. And He will. I’ve had the privilege of praying with many people and inviting Jesus to speak into the wounds of their hearts. Every time, Jesus will speak truth over them and tell them how dearly they are loved. They hear His voice. They feel His love. And they are changed in a way that only Jesus makes possible. We live in a broken world. People hurt us, often those closest to us. We carry around deep wounds that no matter how much time has passed, don’t seem to heal. In my own life, I carried around a childhood wound that years and years of professional counseling couldn’t seem to heal. The counseling was certainly helpful. I learned how to articulate and process the wound. I learned how to set boundaries. But the wound itself, decades later, was still there. It never seemed to heal and impacted my relationships and my ability to trust people. Do you have one of those? An experience that years, potentially decades later, you can remember where you were when it happened, what the person said, the expression on their face, the deep pain you felt? In prayer, Jesus can speak to you about that pain. He can take that wound and make it a scar. Your greatest pain can be given to the only one capable of healing anything. A broken heart. A deep childhood wound. That painful memory. Jesus can heal and wants to heal that wound. He wants to speak His love and His truth over you. And that is one of the most beautiful adventures I’ve experienced with Jesus. He took my childhood wound and decades later, when given to him, he took the wound and turned it into a scar. When that healed, friends, my heart changed. In place of the hurt and sadness were more love and joy. The best way I can describe it is that my heart felt bigger and my ability to love became greater. If this is you, please know you’re not alone. We’d be honored to pray for you. Simply reach out to us here.

Adventures with God can be described in so many ways. When you get to know him, just knowing him, being in relationship with him, hearing His voice, it will fill you with awe and wonder. Your life will be a series of exchanges with him. (He loves exchanges and in the very best way!) He will take your pain and give you comfort. He will take your worry and give you peace. He will take your open wound and give you a scar. A scar not as a reminder of the pain, but one that testifies to His healing power. I don’t want you to miss out. I don’t want you to go another day not knowing the profound love God has for you or the adventures he has in store for you. For those who haven’t heard his voice, I encourage you to try the experiment from the Hearing God’s voice post. For those who know his voice, I encourage you to start your adventure for him today by pausing, right now, and seeking Him in prayer. A prayer you can pray:

“Heavenly Father, thank you for today. Thank you for being a God that speaks. I want to know you and be used by you. Please speak to my heart and guide me on the adventure you’d like me to take today.” Questions you can then ask:

God, what do you want me to know today?

God, is there someone you want me to pray for?

God, is there something you want me to do for that person? Send a text? Send a bible verse? Send a song? 

And now here’s where the leap of faith and adventure come in. Step into what he tells you. As long as it’s kind and encouraging, there’s no reason not to. God has a plan for you and adventures in store for you. If you seek Him, you will find Him. (Matthew 7:7-8) You will hear His voice. (Jeremiah 33:3) And if you’re willing, he’ll take you on the most wonderful adventures of your life.

Blessing you with joy, peace, hearing His voice and amazing adventures with Him.

Confessions of a (formerly) bored Christian - Part 2

It’s funny. When I reflect on my life, it’s divided into two distinct parts. As I shared in Part 1 of this blog series, my marriage came to an unexpected and abrupt halt at age 40. One would think the dividing line in my life would be pre and post-divorce, but it’s not. Or pre and post having children. Or even pre and post becoming a blended family with my husband and our fabulous five children. While all of those moments were deeply significant, the truth is none come close to the change that happened when I fully accepted that I was not in control and lifted my hands in surrender to God. 

Up until that point I really did think I was in charge. That I could make things happen. Marriage, parenting, work, friends – I had it dialed in. I was happy. I believed in God and I prayed for him to help where I wanted him to. I didn’t go to church because honestly, as a former Catholic, I had no idea where to go and church wasn’t a pleasant memory for me. My experience of church was a check the box kind of task. If I went, I could check the box of being a good child of God and doing what I was supposed to do. It was very similar to a chore. We didn’t talk about faith at home. Didn’t read the Bible. I talked to God at night about my fears, asking for his help, and that was pretty much it. My faith was a one-sided relationship with me telling God my plans, giving direction on where I needed help, and similar to throwing a penny in a wishing well, hoping that somehow what I wanted would be answered. 

My faith was all about me. I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I didn’t know it could be different, that it was meant to be different. I was bored in my faith because I had unknowingly made it religion. If I’m being honest, I actually made it less than religion. Religion is defined as “the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power”. I believed in God. I didn’t worship him. I didn’t prioritize him. I didn’t even know him. Or his son. Or his Holy Spirit. Of course I was bored. I had made it boring. I had placed God in this faraway place up in the heavens somewhere and was living my life on my terms. And again, I was happy. I didn’t know what I didn’t know.

My life crashing down around me was the best thing that could’ve happened to me. With every ounce of who I am, I mean that. I would walk through the pain and suffering all over again to get to that moment of surrender. That moment transformed my life, my children’s lives and awakened me to a life and adventure I never knew was possible. God had better plans for me than I had for myself. His love for me and his love for you, his plans for our lives, are infinitely better than the very best dreams we have for our lives. He’s God. He knows how our plans work out. That money truly doesn’t buy happiness. That traveling to different places around the world doesn’t buy happiness. That having the American dream – with the spouse and the kids and the job and the house, doesn’t buy happiness. I realize that sounds like a contradiction as I’ve said a few times that when I had those things and was living that life, I was happy. But here’s what I can tell you now. That happiness simply cannot compare to the absolute joy and peace that come with a relationship with God. 

I understand if what I’m saying seems hard to believe. I imagine it’s similar to trying to explain color to someone who was born blind. Until you experience it for yourself, it’s so difficult to imagine. In my own way, I was living life blind. Blind to the fact that the things of this world aren’t lasting and aren’t fulfilling. Blind to who God is and what faith was meant to be. Blind to the value of peace. Peace that exceeds understanding. (Phil 4:7) My moment of surrender, putting God first and living life according to His will for my life, it doesn’t mean there haven’t been hard times. I’ve hit my knees, in anguish, multiple times since then. When one of my boys was sick in the hospital and not getting better. When another was suffering deeply and I had to again surrender, realizing as a mom I could do no more and that we desperately needed God to intervene. When my body has been under attack with cancer scares again and again and yet again. Each and every time, God is there. God meets me in my pain. And he sees us through. There is always hope, and it’s because of him. Life has become a daily surrender with me giving God my plans along with my burdens and receiving His guidance, His peace, His joy. 

I encourage you, take five or ten minutes today, and give yourself time to reflect. What of this stands out? Are there aspects you can relate to? For those who know God, is it possible that your faith has become religion? Or asked in another way, when you think about God are you excited? 

There’s so much more to unpack but for now, I leave you with this encouragement. If you’re reading this, God has led you to it. He’s chasing you and wants a relationship with you. A two-sided relationship where he wants to guide, bless and change your life in the best possible way. One where he speaks his love and truth over you daily. And when life really is a “buckle your seatbelt” kind of adventure. 

Stay tuned for Part 3 next Tuesday where we get to the adventure part and how a relationship with God can take you on the wildest (and best) adventures of your life. In the meantime, praying blessings of peace, joy and surrender in Him.

Confessions of a (formerly) bored Christian - Part 1

My friends, I have a confession. For nearly 40 years, I was, at best, bored in my faith. At worst, I was living for myself, seeking God when I had a want or need. I was raised Catholic and while I went to church regularly as a child, I didn’t enjoy it. Faith was something I had but it didn’t excite me, guide me, and usually fell dead last on my list of priorities. Outside of the head knowledge that Jesus was the son of God, I didn’t know anything about him, let alone the Holy Spirit. I did not read my Bible. In fact, the only Bible I had was the children’s Bible given to me by my Father. I prayed pretty regularly, but even those prayers were all for me. It was my wish list of what I wanted to have happen in my life, and I treated God like a good luck charm. If I prayed, then maybe what I wanted would have a better chance of happening. And here’s the truth, life was working out pretty darn well. I had a beautiful family, great career, a nice home, a wonderful life. Until it all came crashing down. 

All at once the world I had built was gone. My husband didn’t want to be married anymore. My boss told me a single mom couldn’t be successful in business. I needed to have major surgery. All of this happened within months. It was like being hit by an ocean wave, thrown underwater, and just as I broke the surface to get air, another wave would hit and take me under again. I was devastated. I was heartbroken. I wasn’t sleeping. I remember it hurt to breathe. The life I had built, every aspect of it, was gone. The two things I had left: my three young boys and my faith. One day I was out on a run praying and asking God the question so many of us ask when we’re hurting. “Why?”. It was the only question I had the strength to ask. All of a sudden, I felt the answer to my question in my heart. God had a different plan for my life. And I realized in that moment I was not in control. It was at that moment, on the sidewalk next to a golf course, that I lifted my hands in the air and surrendered. I said to God “I’m out. You’re in control. Whatever you have planned for my life, I surrender. Whether or not I get to love another person, where I work, where I live, it’s all in your hands.”  

That day was the most powerful day of my life. I didn’t realize it at the time but looking back now I can tell you with certainty, it’s the day my entire life had been leading up to. God had a plan for my life. And while I know his heart broke as mine was breaking, he also knew the plans he had for my life (Jeremiah 29:11). That he would exchange the ashes of my pain for beauty (Isaiah 61:3). There was not a moment in that time, that God wasn’t there. Holding my life and my boys in his hands, loving, comforting, strengthening, preparing. God had not caused my pain, but he did allow it. And he was going to redeem it. He was waiting for me to surrender. He knew what it would take for me to release full control of my life. And that is when the adventure began. I share all of this with you for a few reasons. 

1) We are meant to share our stories. There was a time I honestly thought I would never sleep through the night again. I thought I wouldn’t be able to genuinely smile or laugh again. And now my profound laugh lines, along with many other blessings, are there as testimony that God restores. He redeems. He gives beauty for ashes. 

2) As encouragement in the hard times. If you are going through something, if the weight of the pain and worry feel overwhelming, there is hope. You will get through it. God is not absent. He will take your pain. I encourage you to lift it to him in prayer, surrender it to him. Ask for his peace in place of your pain. He is there with you and he loves you more than you can imagine. If we can pray for you, please email prayer@calvarylg.com and we will be honored to lift you and what you’re going through to Him.

3) As encouragement on your faith journey. Hearing the voice of God in prayer, knowing the purpose and assignment God has for your life, being used by Him, having adventures with and for Him, witnessing God heal others physically, emotionally, spiritually – these aren’t things I grew up with. These experiences aren’t reserved for a few. This is available to all God’s sons and daughters. This is available to you. As we continue to journey together, as you press in on seeking God in prayer and stepping out in faith, these experiences and so many more can be part of your story and testimony.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of Confessions of a (formerly) bored Christian on Friday.

Praying blessings of peace, joy and surrender in Him.

Purpose

Have you ever wondered what your purpose is? What it is you were meant to do in this life? If you have, you’re not alone. There are over 3.3 billion search results for “purpose of life”. Interestingly, google also highlights a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson, a philosopher and writer, that attempts to answer the question with “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” I don’t disagree. But I do believe the definition falls short. 

In our first blog post, we discussed the incredible precision God used to create you. God is not human. There is nothing he does that is without purpose. In 2 Timothy 1:9 it says, “He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace.” God has a purpose for your life. He has a plan for your life. (Jeremiah 29:11) His plans are not just for you to know him, to be saved by His son, to be loved by him, to be blessed by him. His plans for you are even greater because He is greater. God has an assignment for you. His plan for your life includes an assignment that you and you alone can fulfill. So while I agree with Emerson that the purpose of life is to be useful, I will add the critical piece I believe is missing, being useful to Him. 

I realize the next logical question is the big one, “so how do I discover what God intends for my life?”. Now that can be both a big and daunting question or it can be broken down to a very tangible, very actionable one. In Matthew 6:34, Jesus tells us “do not worry about tomorrow.” He guides us to focus on the day that is in front of us. God wants us to be available to him. To seek Him and His plan for us. In prayer, we can ask God how he wants to use us, and because we have a God who speaks, he will answer. I encourage you, right now, to seek our Father and ask how he wants to use you today. To do so, you can pray:

“Heavenly Father, I believe you are a God that speaks. I thank you that you want a relationship with me, that you want to guide me, that you want me to know the plans you have for me. I come to you seeking guidance for today.”

From there, you can ask God:

-       God, is there someone you want me to pray for? Will you bring their face or name to mind?

-       Is there someone you want me to reach out to and encourage?

-       Is there someone you want me to forgive?

-       Is there a burden you want me to surrender?

The last two questions may seem odd. The state of our hearts matters tremendously to our Father. To be used by God is to do what he asks of us. I can share not a day has gone by where God hasn’t given me an answer of Yes to three of the four questions above. We are human. We are easily offended. We carry our burdens and often believe we can handle things in our own strength. God, lovingly, will tell us otherwise. He will guide us for how he wants to use us, day by day. As you continue to seek Him, as you ask Him these questions and respond by taking action, you will begin to see how God shows you the purpose and assignment he has on your life. 

Praying blessings of joy, grace, peace and purpose in Him.

Always Known. Never Alone.

You are known. Whether or not you yet believe in Jesus, you are known. The Bible tells us he knit us in our mother’s womb. (Psalm 139:13) That were we to know the number of thoughts he has for us, for each of us, it would be greater than the grains of sand on a beach. (Psalm 139:18) It would be easy to read that as only poetry. As a beautiful, loving idea, that there is someone who thinks about us that much. Because how could it be possible for someone to think about us in that way? To love us to that extent? It’s estimated that earth’s beaches have over 5,000 billion billion grains of sand. Impossible to imagine isn’t it? Impossible to comprehend. That is the God we have. That is the depth to which you are known and loved. It’s too great to understand and yet it’s true. For God is not human. Numbers 23:19 shows us “God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?”.

My prayer as you read this, is for you to know how deeply you are known and loved. For you to know there hasn’t been a moment of your life where you have been or will be alone. That whether or not you know Jesus or have accepted His love for you, that you are loved. So fully, so deeply, that the greatest of love from another human falls profoundly short. Jesus is with you. He sees you. His heart breaks for all the times you’ve felt unloved, unseen, alone. The enemy would have you believe that this isn’t true. I imagine the lie he’s telling you is that you didn’t feel Jesus’ presence so he couldn’t have been there. Or if He was real and was there, why did he let the painful experience happen? I won’t dare try and give a reason for why you’ve experienced the pain you have. What I do know is that whether or not you have faith, bad things happen. People hurt us. Our bodies fail us. That it is impossible to get through this life without experiencing pain. 

What I also know, is that if that pain is given to God, he will redeem that pain. He will turn the page and start a new chapter in your life. He will give you beauty for ashes. (Isaiah 61:3). He will make a way. You may be asking, “how?”. Particularly if it’s a situation that just seems impossible. We can give it to God through prayer. Prayer is simply a conversation aimed towards God. If you’ve never prayed before, now is the perfect time. If you’re struggling for the words to pray, I encourage you to pray whatever is on your heart. God knows what’s in your heart and he’s just waiting for you to give it to him. If you’d like, you are also welcome to pray the prayer below:

“Jesus, I need help. I don’t know how the situation I’m facing will turn out or even how it can be made better. I confess I don’t even know if my prayer will help. But I want to believe. I want to give it to you. I want to believe that you are here right now, ready and waiting to take what I’m facing and exchange the ashes for beauty, to give me peace that exceeds my circumstance. I give it to you and pray for your help. I pray to come to know you and feel the love I’ve heard about. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Faith is a journey. Wherever you are, I pray as you’ve read this post, you’ve felt His love for you. I pray as you go through this day, you are reminded again and again that You are known and You are loved. 

Praying blessings of peace, joy, and knowing how deeply loved you are.