Spotting the Lies
/My friends, for those who have read previous posts, you’ve heard about my unexpected divorce some years ago. That I didn’t see it coming. How it was right after my husband and I had celebrated our 10-year anniversary and even how I was holding my child’s toy in my hand when he told me how unhappy he was. What I didn’t share was that when it happened, I told very few. In fact, there were three people who knew. My two best friends, one in Chicago and the other in LA, and a colleague. I ended up sharing with my colleague as I needed someone to cover for me when I was at work. There were times the pain was so great; I would find myself with tears falling down my face and needing to excuse myself to the bathroom to compose myself. She, in her great kindness, covered for me.
The reason I didn’t tell my family? Why my dad didn’t find out until he dropped by unexpectedly as my husband was physically moving his things out of our home? The first was that the pain was so great, it really did hurt to breathe. I didn’t have the strength to talk about it. The other reason? I was ashamed and embarrassed. I felt responsible. That somehow, I wasn’t worth loving. That I didn’t matter enough for him to stay. That everything I had to offer wasn’t enough. Those were the thoughts in my head. I share this with you now in the hopes that it will help you to spot what I wasn’t able to at the time – that I was hearing lies.
Friends, I think we can all agree there is evil in this world. The evil isn’t an unknown entity. It’s Satan. He has other names. I commonly refer to him as the enemy. (1 Peter 5:8) But the name I have found that most accurately reflects his character, is the father of lies. (John 8:44) What I was hearing, when I was in deep pain and walking through the loss of my marriage, were lies.
“You’re not loved.”
“You’re not worth loving.”
“It’s your fault.”
“You don’t matter.”
In the Bible it tells us “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.” (John 10:10). The thief is the enemy. His goal is to harm and destroy. In my life, I have found the weapon used most often is to tell me lies and try and get me to believe them about myself. I didn’t realize it at the time. It didn’t occur to me to question the lies or the source. Not even my ex-husband was saying these things to me so where were these statements coming from? As I would dwell on them, thinking about how I wasn’t loved or worth loving, my wound would remain open and bleeding. Have you ever found yourself thinking negative thoughts about yourself? Something like,
I’m not good enough.
I’m not smart enough.
I’m not loved.
Whether someone said them or as I experienced, they seemed to be thoughts in my head, the source is the enemy, the father of lies. They are lies and they are not true. Whether or not you know or believe in Jesus, this truth remains unchanged, YOU ARE LOVED. God loves you. You are good. You are smart. You are known. You are seen. You are loved. God is love. The Bible shows us his thoughts for us are countless, that were we to know the number of thoughts he has for us, for each of us, it would be greater than the grains of sand on a beach. (Psalm 139:18) God speaks and his voice is one of pure love. The enemy lies and will seek to have you believe negative things about yourself. Lies that hurt, that make us feel guilt, shame, abandonment. My hope for you, is that you will spot these lies, discard them, and speak truth over yourself, that you know above all else, You are Loved.
A practical exercise for you: If a negative thought appears in your mind about who you are, whatever it is, I encourage you to declare “No, that is not true. I am not ____. I am loved.”
A verse you can read and that I encourage you to declare as well,
“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.” 1 John 4:16
Friends, the heart of God is love. He is love and wants you to know how deeply you are loved. This is the truth I pray you hold on to and that you rest in. You. Are. Loved.
Praying blessings of peace, joy and knowing how abundantly you are loved.
