The Emotional Opportunity

Emotions can be exhausting. Wouldn’t you agree? Worry, stress, anger, hurt, frustration, weariness. Those are the ones that seem to hold on the longest. Joy, peace, happiness, somehow, they feel more elusive. Harder to find. Harder to hold on to. There is something in our human nature that seems naturally drawn to the more negative emotions, even though our souls cry out and long for the positive. To make matters more complicated, the negative emotions, can actually feel good. At least for a while. Anger can feel justified. Allow me to recap an experience that happened just last Friday. 

My husband and I were headed out for a date night. We had made it through another week of five kids distance learning and were ready to escape our home and enjoy an evening of good food, conversation, and a few hours without hearing our names called, serving a meal, hearing about our “bad wi-fi”, or picking up discarded clothes on the ground. I was excited. Friends, I actually got ready which is a rare occurrence for me during covid. I was wearing an outfit with an actual waistband instead of elastic, my make-up was on, and I even wore high heels! (The last part was also to ensure I still knew how to walk in them.) We looked like two kids headed out on a first date.

When we got to the restaurant the gentleman working there was just finishing cleaning a table and directed us to sit down. We couldn’t believe it. A date night and an available table with no wait?!! Does it get any better?? As we sat down, huge smiles on our faces, talking about what we were going to order I see an older gentleman and his wife walking towards us, glaring and raising their voices at us. It seems we had “stolen” their table. They had declared it theirs by placing a green comb and a Hilton pen on the table in addition to tilting the chair toward the table. My husband and I had missed the clues. Friends, they were so angry. I remember getting up to give them their table, honestly stunned as I continued to get lectured and reprimanded for not recognizing the table had been taken.

As my husband went inside to place our order and I stood outside waiting for another available table, I was angry. Arms crossed, looking at the gentleman sitting down at the table we were just sitting at, my mind replaying what just happened, focusing now on how offended I was and how angry I felt. I don’t like getting yelled at by anyone, let alone a stranger for an unintentional offense. In my mind, they were in the wrong, they were rude, and of course I had a right to be angry. The anger felt right. It felt justified. Those people were wrong. 

I knew I needed to forgive them. Not because they had apologized. Not because I had a change of heart. But because I wanted to have a change of heart. I didn’t want to sit in anger. So I declared in my mind “I forgive them.” And then I felt God lead me to pray for them, to bless them. I knew it was God’s leading as I certainly didn’t want to pray for them. I was still angry. I had declared that I had forgiven them, but my emotions hadn’t caught up with the decision. Why should I pray for them? And then I felt God speak to my heart “Megan, I love them. I want you to pray for them. What if you’re the only one I have praying for them today?” I’ve learned God asks me questions, not because he doesn’t know the answer, but so I can understand what he’s telling me. 

God knows everything about us. Everything about me. How he’s taught me that he wants me to not only forgive those I’m hurt or offended by, but that he also wants me to pray for them. While God did not cause the offense or the couple to yell at my husband and me, he allowed it and would use it for his purposes if I let him. So I prayed “In Jesus name I bless them with joy, peace, and a wonderful evening.” Now, I don’t know if that couple felt more peace. I don’t know if they had a wonderful evening. What I do know is that my husband and I did. Not long after I prayed I got lost in the evening with my husband. We had a wonderful night full of joy, peace, laughter, happiness. 

There is an opportunity extended to us each time we’re hurt, let down, angry, offended. We can forgive and we can pray. God is so good and so gracious, that he blesses us when we bless others. (Genesis 12:3) My encouragement to you, try it. Experiment for one day. Any time you find yourself irritated, someone cuts you off while driving, you read something on social media, experiment with the opportunity. If you find yourself upset, you can forgive them by simply saying in your mind “I forgive ___.” I encourage you not to stop there. Double down on the opportunity and say a prayer for that person. You can say “In Jesus name, I bless them with ____.” And fill in the blank with whatever comes to mind. If you’re not certain, blessing with peace and hope is always one of my favorites. 

Creating a new reflex/behavior in my life, taking each negative emotion and using it as an opportunity to forgive and pray for others, friends I wish I could describe just how much joy and peace it’s brought to my life. It almost feels selfish to do it because I receive so much from it. I’m excited for you. Experiment with it. I’d love to know how your experiments go! Email me at blog@calvarylg.com and let me know. 

Praying blessings of joy, peace, and blessing to be a blessing.