Author of Your Story

Happy New Year friends! I pray you had a wonderful Christmas. That you had time over the last two weeks to feel joy, to laugh, to rest, to dream of what this new year will bring. I was listening to a podcast over the break and heard a statement that stopped me in my tracks (quite literally as I was running at the time). He said every 10 years you will go through something brutal. While it was a generalization from his experience as a Pastor, I found myself reflecting back. Age 1-10, anything happen? Yes. Years 11-20? Yes. As I kept counting up, a decade at a time, I found his generalization was correct. As I looked at my children’s lives, I had to admit the same was true for them. The end of my marriage to their father was a deep loss for them. They’ve endured far more than just the divorce and it makes my heart hurt for them. Not just because it’s a broken world and experiencing pain is a guarantee. But also, because at their young ages, they haven’t yet experienced what comes with facing multiple battles…watching God take your most painful moments, what often feels like a heartbreaking end, and turn the page to reveal a new chapter in the beautiful story he has written for your life. 

For the longest time I thought I was the author of my story. I had the outline, planned out where the story would go, how I wanted it to end. The story I had written for myself unsurprisingly had very few twists and turns and absolutely no pain or hardship planned. But as the saying goes, if you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans. Friends, I’ll be honest. The story I had written for myself was not only boring, it was selfish. I lived for what I wanted for so long. My goals, my plans, my definition of success. But God had a very different plan for my life. A complete 180-degree shift from what I had in mind. He allowed me to lose nearly all I held dear, marriage, job, health, so I would put down the pen and the writing of my terrible story and allow him to write a much better one. 

While I wish I were someone who learned the easy way, that I could be moved and molded without encountering pain, that just wasn’t my nature. I think if we’re honest, that isn’t in any of our human natures. When things are going well and our plans seem to be working out, there doesn’t seem to be any reason to change. My selfish story was working out. God allowed me to live my way, authoring my story, for a long time. Until at age 40, he allowed significant pain to bring my way of living to a screeching halt and ultimately bring healing, freedom, peace and joy that wouldn’t have been possible had I kept living my life and my story as I had it written. To live out what God had planned for my life, he had to insert an abrupt end to my plans. Heartbreak. Loss. Wounding. Not because for a moment God wanted me to hurt. But because He wanted more for my life. He wanted a much more beautiful story for me, for my children, for what he wanted to do in and through my life. It would require letting go. Letting go of my plans for the future, letting go of hurts from the past, and trusting Him with it all. 

As we begin 2021, I encourage you to take a moment and reflect, who is the author of your story? If it’s you, would you be willing to surrender your story to the one who knows where every path leads? The one who wants to take the painful chapters of your life and bring you healing and freedom? The one who will take the brokenness and pain of this world and exchange it for joy and peace? A simple prayer you can pray right now: 

God, I don’t want to be the author of my story. I want to let go. Let go of the pain. Let go of my wounds. Let go of what I’m holding on to that isn’t mine to hold on to. I surrender my life and my plans to you. I ask your forgiveness for my sins. And I ask to know and experience your love, your healing power, your peace. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

If you prayed the prayer above, would you let us know by emailing blog@calvarylg.com? We’d love to lift you in prayer and celebrate the new chapter that’s beginning in your life.

Praying blessings of new life, healing, freedom and peace in Jesus.