The Storm

Friends, last week I shared what may have seemed like a hard experience to share. My health with its unresolved issues and future unknowns. But as I sit here now, that feels so small. I find my life resembling a terrible infomercial filled with “but wait there’s more”. What I found myself writing about on Monday had to be put in to practice just a few days later. The statements I made:

-       His ways aren’t mine, they’re better

-       I don’t have to know why, I just need to know who

-       God has brought my family and me through every dark situation we’ve faced

The statements above, I don’t say them lightly. I believe them and have experienced them as truth. And yet somehow, as we face a new and brutal situation, I find myself battling between trusting God and worrying. Battling between surrendering the situation to him and wanting to try and take matters in to my own hands. But the truth is, there is nothing I can do. We are facing something that is out of my control and when it comes to those I love, surrendering the situation to God, trusting He has it and His way and timing are better, it is a struggle. I want you to know, I understand the surrender I so often talk about is not easy. Not if we’re truly surrendering. The statements about God are all true. And yet, when we are in the storm, when the darkness is around us, when the situation is truly something out of our hands, surrendering is hard.

As I sit here now, heart hurting over this new situation we’re facing, tears falling (again), I am right at this moment practicing what I teach. Surrender. Coming to God with a heart that’s hurting, weary, angry, worried, and laying it all at God’s feet. When the obstacles in life have to do with me, I can take the hits and the exchange of fear and pain for peace, that’s fairly easy. When it comes to those around me, those I love, that’s when it feels like a punch to the gut. Those are the situations that hurt infinitely more, and the exchange is harder. Overwhelmed and needing help, I closed my eyes and prayed “God, thank you for today. I’m mad and I don’t understand. Why? Why are you allowing this to happen?”. If I’m being brutally honest, I had to force myself to praise him before launching in to my unleashing of emotions and questions. My human heart wanted to go directly to the question of “why?”. As I’ve grown in my relationship with God, talking to him in prayer isn’t much different than going to my husband or best friend. The person who knows everything about you and you are so safe in the relationship, you don’t mince words. You just speak the unedited truth. 

I had an honest conversation with God, confessing I was upset we were facing something new. Battle weary is the phrase that comes to mind. And one of the many things I love about God, is you never have to hide anything from him. You actually can’t. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows every emotion we’re feeling. My hurt and anger with him over the new situation we’re facing does not catch him off guard. He’s not disappointed in me coming to him and confronting him with my feelings. He is my loving father. He loves that I trust him enough to not try and hide anything, but to pour it all out. All of it. A child coming to her parent, overwhelmed by circumstance and not knowing what to do, angry that it’s happening, needing guidance and comfort.

This broken world we live in, it’s hard. It’s not fair. There is so much pain and suffering. But there’s also hope. Jesus came so we wouldn’t have to sit in this brokenness. He came so we could go directly to God, have a relationship with Him, share and surrender our wounds, get his counsel, his help, his peace. As we prepare to celebrate the day Jesus stepped down from the thrown to enter our world and save us from our brokenness, I pray if you are facing something, you will join me in reaching out to the only one who can take our pain. The only one who has the answers. The only one who can make a way when one isn’t available. The prayer you can join me in praying:

God, thank you that you love me. Thank you that I don’t have to hide what I’m feeling. I need your help. I am giving you this situation. I am asking for you to give me your comfort, guide me in what to do, make a way where there isn’t one, and protect and bless those I love. I pray this in Jesus’ name, Amen.

God is good. His ways are better. He will see all of us through what we are facing. And if we let him, he will give us peace amidst the storm.

Blessing you all with hope, healing, peace and joy.