Prodigal

Guest Post by Renee Haken

When I was in my twenties, my boyfriend and I ran off to California. I had grown up in a loving Christian home. I had surrendered my life to Jesus. Yet, I ran. I ran in the direction I wanted to go, to what I thought was good for me and my life. As I ran, God was right there with me. He was patient with me. He opened my eyes to see what he wanted for me, opened my eyes to see His good for me, and lovingly and tenderly wooed me back to himself. His good was so much better than the life I had been chasing.

Fast forward…married with three boys. I sat my boys down one day. They were teenagers and I told them the story of God’s grace and mercy in my life. I shared the experience of running away from God, coming back to Him, his forgiveness and his great love for me, for them.  

It was beautiful to be walking with the Lord. God filled me with incredible joy. Yet…I often felt a distance between God and me. I knew he had welcomed me back with wide open arms. I knew as far as the east is from the west I had been forgiven. I knew that though my sins were like scarlet, in Him they were white as snow.

My mind knew all of that, but my heart questioned how I let myself wander so far? The question came often. I began thinking I was not worthy to be as close to God as I could be if I hadn’t wandered away from him. I began thinking God loved me less. While I knew in my mind that wasn’t true, my heart didn’t believe it. 

In this wrestling, God started me on a journey of understanding the schemes of the enemy and the battle that wages around us, every day. We have an enemy whose sole purpose is to steal, kill, and destroy and who is livid when we put our trust in Jesus and begin to follow him (John 10:10). The enemy doesn’t want anyone to be in a close relationship with God and he uses a myriad of tactics to erode our relationship with God.  One of his tactics is getting people to believe lies. The enemy told me the lie that God loved me less, that there was distance between us, and I fell prey to his lie.

The enemy wants to wreak havoc in our lives, to tear us down, to defeat our spirits, to tie us up in knots, to render us as ineffective as possible. He is cunning and deceptive.   Jesus said the enemy is a liar and the father of lies (John 8:44). Jesus wants to open our eyes to the enemy’s schemes. He wants us to know He is the way, the truth, and the life. He wants us to know we are created in His image, we are loved, that he is chasing after us, after our hearts, to experience freedom, healing, forgiveness and life in Him.  

Jesus paid a great price so we could be one with him and the Father. He does not want anything to come between us. We are his image bearers and he has given us authority over the enemy. God told us, “Take your stand against the devil, resist the enemy, and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). When the enemy attacks, we can tell him to leave, in Jesus’ name.  

Knowing Jesus has given me authority over the enemy, knowing God’s heart for me, living free, what a difference this has made in my life. This is what our Father wants for us in increasing measure. He said, “…I have come that they might have life and have it to the full” (John 10:10). Have I got this all figured out? No. There is so much to learn, but God is with us. He is Immanuel. He walks beside us, leading us, guiding us, directing us.

I encourage you to ask God if there is anything creating distance between you and him, to reveal if there are any lies from the enemy you might be believing, to reveal any tactics the enemy might be using to come between you and God in your life. Ask him to help you recognize the attacks of the enemy, to recognize when he is attempting to steal, kill, and destroy in your life. I am excited for you in your journey, and I pray God will show you how much you are loved by him and how much he desires for you to be one with him.

Renee is a beautiful friend of mine whose heart and faithfulness inspire me. Thank you Renee for sharing your story. What a gift you are to all who know you and have the privilege of journeying with you. Thank you for allowing yourself to be a vessel used so fully by Him and for Him.

The purpose of this blog is to share the transforming and life-changing love of Jesus. Every story matters. If you feel a pull to share your story, the stories from the past and those that are still being written, I would love to hear it. Simply email blog@calvarylg.com.