Hourly

I sat down to write yesterday and the words weren’t coming. I should’ve known what that meant – God hadn’t given me the story yet. Fast forward 24 hours later and there are many to choose from. My heart is heavy, tears are welling, and the word “hourly” is prominent in my mind. This is a day where my emotions and faith are at war with each other. It’s a battle between fear, worry, fatigue and God’s peace. Hourly is the frequency I am going to God, giving him my heart, my angst, the things I’m feeling I can’t even put words to, and asking him to take it. I am clinging to our Father with both hands. Knowing only he knows what’s ahead. Knowing he loves me and my boys more than I understand. Knowing the struggles we’re facing does not mean his absence. In fact, it’s the opposite. He’s even closer because he knows how fragile we are. How much we need his help. How there is no possible way we can handle what we’re facing without him. He is there. 

As I picture him now, I see an image of him, looking into my eyes, reassuring me everything will be ok. No matter what it looks like, he will see us through. He gives me peace, it allows the tears to dissipate, my lungs to fill. But the truth is, an hour later, often less than that, my emotions rise up again. The situations we’re facing will enter my mind again. The worry and fear come back. The process repeats.  

Friends, there are seasons like this. Seasons when the darkness and brokenness of this world invades our lives. It may be with our relationships, our health, our work. It may be our children. It could be all of them at once. Friends I don’t know how to get through these things other than clinging to God with both hands. The truth is, I simply cannot get through it on my own. I don’t have the answers. I don’t know the journey ahead. Even for my son, I don’t know what road he will take, when breakthrough will come. What I know with absolute certainty, God is good. I make it a point, in the midst of the battle, when it feels like we simply can’t take anymore, to declare that truth. 

The enemy wants us to doubt God’s goodness. God’s power, God’s love, God’s faithfulness. The enemy wants us to believe there is no hope. To sit in sadness, immobilized with fear, doubt, worry. And yet God gave us His word, the Bible, and tells us over 300 times, do not fear. As I sit here now, I’m reminded of the last time I felt like this. It was in the post I shared last week from the darkest time in my life where it just wasn’t one area of life that was broken, it was several. I remember going to God and saying “I don’t know how to get through this. I don’t know how to fix it. I need you.”. God did exactly that. He made a way where one didn’t exist. He got our family through absolutely every battle we were facing. And I know, he will do it again. 

Whatever it is you’re facing, whatever hurt, fear, worry, unknown you’re facing, God will make a way. He will take it and give you peace. As someone who in this moment is writing with tear stained cheeks, but whose eyes are now dry, I give you this as my testimony. God is good. God is near. God LOVES you. He can make a way where none exists. But it’s up to us to go to him. 

I encourage you, right now, go to him. Bring what you’re carrying to him. A prayer you can pray:

God, I need you. I invite you in. Into my life, into my heart. Will you make a way where I don’t see that one exists? I give you my pain, my worry, my fears and I ask for you in its place. And the peace you offer that exists despite what I’m facing. In your son Jesus’ name, Amen.

If you don’t yet know Jesus, if you haven’t accepted him into your heart, I encourage you to click here, right now, and learn more about him. The peace I speak of, it begins and ends with him.

Blessing you with the hope, comfort and peace of Jesus.